Is snoring affecting your relationship?

Short answer: Loud snoring is a common reason couples sleep in separate rooms, and both partners often wake tired and irritable. Snoring can also be a sign of obstructive sleep apnea, which is worth checking for the snorer's own health. Treating the cause of snoring often means better sleep, and better days, for both partners.

Key takeaways

• Snoring affects the sleep of the bed partner as well as the snorer.
• Poor sleep can increase irritability, reduce patience and strain relationships.
• Loud snoring with pauses or gasps may suggest sleep apnea and deserves evaluation.
• Recording the snoring for a few nights can help an ENT assess it.

Dr. Prashanth's perspective

Spouses usually complain that their partners snore loudly. Whenever I ask a patient whether they snore, the spouse often says "yes" first, before the patient can answer. And about one in four spouses tell me they sleep in a different room just to get some sleep.

— Dr. Prashanth R. Reddy, ENT Surgeon, ENTHealth360

Why does snoring cause tension between partners?

Snoring disturbs the sleep of the person lying next to it, and tired people are more likely to clash.

A partner may wake repeatedly, take longer to fall asleep or move to another room. Over weeks and months, this can mean less time together, less closeness and more resentment. The snorer may feel embarrassed or blamed for something they cannot control.

Both partners may also feel tired during the day. Poor sleep can make people more irritable, less patient and less able to manage stress, which can affect communication at home.

How can you tell if snoring is more than a nuisance?

Some snoring is simple and harmless. Other snoring points to a breathing problem during sleep.

• Simple snoring: steady, often worse after alcohol or a cold, without pauses or daytime tiredness.
• Possible sleep apnea: loud snoring with pauses, gasps or choking sounds noticed by the partner.
• Daytime signs: feeling unrefreshed, morning headaches, dozing off while reading or watching TV.
• Other clues: waking often to pass urine at night, a dry mouth, high blood pressure or weight gain.

Obstructive sleep apnea happens when the airway in the throat narrows or closes repeatedly during sleep. It has been linked with high blood pressure, heart problems and daytime sleepiness, so it is worth checking.

What can couples do at home?

Some practical steps may reduce snoring while you arrange an evaluation.

• Record the snoring for a few nights. Pauses or gasps are worth showing to an ENT.
• Sleep on the side rather than the back.
• Avoid alcohol and sedative medicines close to bedtime, unless prescribed.
• Keep regular sleep times and avoid heavy late-night meals.
• Treat nasal blockage with saline rinses if advised.
• Work towards a healthy weight, if weight gain has been a factor.
• Talk about it calmly. Snoring is a health issue, not a character flaw.

In Bangalore, dust, pollen and traffic pollution can worsen nasal congestion, which can make snoring louder.

How are breathing, sleep and energy connected for couples?

One person's night-time breathing can shape two people's sleep and energy.

When the snorer's airway is clearer, they are more likely to get deeper sleep, and the partner is less likely to be woken. For many couples, this can mean more energy, better mood and more patience with each other during the day. It can also help both partners perform better at work and in daily life.

How does nose breathing support energy and BMR?

Your basal metabolic rate (BMR) is the energy your body burns at rest to keep the heart beating, the brain working and cells repairing. Your cells make that energy using oxygen, so how well you breathe matters.

Nose breathing helps in two ways:

• Warm, moist, filtered air. The nose warms, humidifies and filters each breath before it reaches the lungs. Conditioned air is gentler on the airway lining, which matters in Bangalore's air-conditioned offices and traffic dust. Mouth breathing skips this step and can leave the throat and airways dry.
• Nitric oxide from the sinuses. The paranasal sinuses continuously make nitric oxide (NO), a natural gas. When you breathe in through your nose, small amounts of this NO travel to the lungs, where studies suggest it may help widen tiny blood vessels and improve oxygen uptake. Mouth breathing largely bypasses it.

Nose breathing does not "boost" your BMR. That is set mainly by muscle mass, age, body size and hormones such as thyroid. But comfortable nasal breathing by day, and undisturbed breathing at night, support efficient oxygen supply and deeper sleep, which your body needs to use energy well and recover.

A simple check: sit quietly and breathe through your nose with your mouth closed for two minutes. If that feels difficult, or one side is always blocked, it is worth having your nose examined.

When should you see an ENT?

See an ENT if snoring is loud, regular or affecting either partner's sleep.

• Snoring on most nights, for more than a few weeks.
• Pauses in breathing, gasping or choking noticed by the partner.
• Daytime sleepiness, poor concentration or morning headaches.
• A nose that stays blocked.
• Seek prompt medical care if the snorer has high blood pressure that is hard to control, or nods off while driving.
• Seek urgent care for chest pain, severe breathlessness, or difficulty breathing when awake.

How an ENT evaluates and treats it

An ENT looks at the whole airway, from the nose to the throat, to find what is causing the snoring.

The visit includes a sleep history, ideally with input from the partner, and an examination of the nose, mouth, throat and neck. A nasal endoscopy may be done to look at the airway. If sleep apnea is suspected, a sleep study, at home or in a sleep lab, can measure breathing and oxygen levels.

Treatment depends on the cause. Options may include nasal treatment, weight and lifestyle advice, positional therapy, oral appliances, CPAP for sleep apnea or, in selected cases, surgery. The right option depends on the cause.

Frequently asked questions

Does nose breathing give me more energy? It does not add energy by itself, but it delivers warm, humidified air and sinus nitric oxide to the lungs, which may help oxygen uptake. Together with better sleep, that supports the energy your body uses at rest (BMR) and during activity.

Can snoring be stopped completely? Snoring can often be reduced or managed once the cause is known. Results vary from person to person, so an evaluation helps set realistic expectations.

Do anti-snoring devices from the market work? Some people find them helpful for simple snoring. They may hide sleep apnea, though, so it is better to get checked first.

Should the partner come to the consultation? It helps. The partner often notices pauses, gasps and patterns the snorer is unaware of.

References

• Lundberg JO, Farkas-Szallasi T, Weitzberg E, et al. High nitric oxide production in human paranasal sinuses. Nature Medicine. 1995;1(4):370-373.
• Lundberg JO, Settergren G, Gelinder S, et al. Inhalation of nasally derived nitric oxide modulates pulmonary function in humans. Acta Physiologica Scandinavica. 1996;158(4):343-347.
• Keck T, Leiacker R, Heinrich A, Kühnemann S, Rettinger G. Humidity and temperature profile in the nasal cavity. Rhinology. 2000;38(4):167-171.

About the author

Dr. Prashanth R Reddy is an ENT surgeon at ENTHealth360, Bangalore (MS ENT; MBA, IIM Bangalore; Seoul Rhinoplasty Fellowship), seeing patients at Sakra World Hospital, Marathahalli and in Koramangala. His practice focuses on how breathing affects sleep, energy and everyday performance.

Related reading: Why breathing matters for sleep and energy

For educational purposes only. Not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult a qualified ENT specialist.